Grains bent on world domination

They’re coming.

They can’t be stopped.

They will infiltrate their way into your mind, heart, and soul by any means necessary.

They will strip you of all personal identity, instead replacing you with a Whole-foods, kale, quinoa, faux-meat, gluten-free, whole-grain zombie.

It’s. . .

Multigrain Cheerios.

See it? Their message of evil and attempts at world domination right there between the happy, shiny people? Here it is again, in case you missed it:

Oh God, I’m so scared. I just ate two bowls of these O-shaped demons. How much of me is whole grain now? Is it my arm? It’s my arm, isn’t it? No! This is wrong!  I don’t want to be replaced with a grain, no matter how whole it is!

 (Must…eat…more…Cheerios…graaaaiiiiiinnnnsss) I’m sorry, my friends.  Grainification has begun. My left arm is now completely crunchy and delicious.


Save yourselves!



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2 Responses to Grains bent on world domination

  1. Kara says:

    That ad is creepy. 🙂

  2. Christopher says:

    It’s all fun and games until somebody has milk poured over them. I AM NOT A WHOLE GRAIN.

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